Behind the Art with Felecia

I'm sure for many, being a Christian seems like the safe thing to do. Its perceived as an established spiritual choice, and has at its core what might be considered a very conservative, unrisky platform. 

But that is not what it is like for me...it is not what it has ever been for me. 

To be a Christian radically changed the direction I was heading in. I would like to tell you that I went along quietly and serenely. 

I didn't. 

My choice placed me dead center in ridicule and mockery from my very intellectual friends. It put me in a position to have to say I am a follower of Jesus and still explain that I love people for who they are - even when I might not agree with their life choices. 

It separated me from friends I dearly loved and made many of my relationships awkward. 

Some people couldn't accept that on certain subjects we would have to agree to disagree.They couldn't imagine that I was capable of having a relationship that was rich and deep with them unless we agreed on all the major points of life. Those people vacated themselves from my life.

There are precious few from my "old" life who have accepted my faith...and that understand I intend to live it as honestly and truthfully as I possibly can. Those precious few know I appreciate them as people, appreciate their point of view, that their relationships are my greatest gifts and I have a genuine love for them that likely wouldn't be possible without my spirituality. 

The kind of faith that sort of both flies in the face of the conventional church and also strives to live an honest and unapologetic love of Christ creates interesting conversations, forces me to dig deeply, to really understand my faith, to walk it out. 

Its is gorgeous and tough and easy and painful and worth every single solitary step. 

Not a popular stance, even more so when horrid things and hatred are done by those who profess to do so in the name Christianity.

Not an easy choice, perhaps...but one that is true to me, true to my heart. I choose to stand and call myself counted.

And all these things the Bible actually promises...that followers will be hated, mocked, ridiculed...that friendships will be ended and families divided...by conventional standards...it is not the safe thing to do. 

It is brave to follow a spiritual course. To lay down one's own life to pursue the soul enriching answers to those deep deep questions. 

This is my kind of brave. 

Behind the Art with Jen

"What does not kill us, makes us stronger"...  I always thought that statement was one that resonates with times that are challenging.  Not that I believe you have to be on death's door to appreciate your strength, but I think we understand our strength better when we have difficult things to overcome.

 

For this page, I was thinking of times when I've been scared to start, scared to go forward, or just scared to succeed for fear it would change things too much.  It's strange how our minds work.  When I think fear can either hold us back or push us into action.  Professionally, when I am most nervous to start something new or fight for what I believe in, it pushes me to do what makes me scared.  

This page was a happening... Something that started with a mess.  I used Faber-Castell Design Memory Craft Gesso to add some white and drips to the Kraft cardstock. It just kept running and I kept adding more or moving it around.  When it finally dried, it left a big area that I needed to add some color to!

 I pulled out the new Faber-Castell Design Memory Craft Texture Luxe in gold to create some painterly brush strokes.  I loved how it stood out from the Gessoed areas.

 Then I sprayed some of the color ink over the whole area.  It was gorgeous!

  Using the stencil from the kit and a white pen, I added some circles around the page. 

 Faber-Castell Design Memory Craft Whipped Spackle was used through the stencil to create some dimensional circles.  I love the texture this adds to the page!

 This page was all about using fear to create something new or accomplish tasks that I might not feel so confident about, but in the end I feel strong and brave when I do accomplish it!  Each time I do what I think can't be done, I grow stronger!  Fear doesn't have to hold you back, it can empower you to move forward too!

Behind the Art with Melissa

 It's happened numerous times.

"Wow, Melissa. You are really brave!"

In the past, when I have heard that, I scoff and deny.

"No way... I'm just doing what I'm suppose to be doing."

Well, there came a point in life where that switched for me. No more denying! Yes. I am brave. I've made some tough decisions in life. I've taken risks. Sure I was nervous and a little afraid but, the fact that I took those steps anyway definitely makes me brave!

Fear doesn't hold me back. Life is just too dang short to not take gutsy steps because I'm afraid.

And my life is all the more richer!

I love the shields as symbolism in this kit. I don't see them as something cowardly. If you are a coward, or afraid, you run. People in battle prepare themselves for the fight. They wear the right armor and carry the shield. So, when I think of the brave things I've done in my life, I like to think I was holding an imaginary shield that warded off all the negativity. Thus, allowing me to see and experience the positive and wonderful things that were a result of my gutsy choices.

Can you say you are brave? 

I dare you.

Behind the Art with Felecia

Love is brave. 

It is not a thing - a feeling....it is a verb - an action word.

Love opens us up. 

It throws off the mantle of convention and status and language and exposes what we are underneath.

Love puts us in positions of vulnerability.

It enables us to act with kindness and generosity toward those who may not share our beliefs, our world view, our income, our neighborhood, or any of the other millions of little things that we use to identify ourselves.

It takes courage to be some one who loves. 

Because love can be messy.

My layout is messy...and full of hearts and glitter and little shiny things...much like loving others.

I pray that I always love others well, that I have the courage to love, even when it is uncomfortable, inconvenient or painful. I pray that my heart shows...with glittery, glimmery magnificence.

I pray that people know I endeavor to be a lover...and that my endeavor shows in my life. 

I pray that love is written all over my life.

May we always be brave enough to love...

Peace, ya'll!

Behind the Art with Jen Matott

After my oldest son and husband achieved their black belt this past February, I was so proud of them and decided that it was something that I wanted for myself.  I had never considered myself athletic enough or in want of a martial arts belt.  I run and take a martial arts kickboxing class but until that day when I watched my son and husband perform with the team, I didn't know that I would want that too.  One woman in particular shared her story of her journey to black belt.  She was out of shape, couldn't even complete 2 push ups the first class.  She didn't give up though and kept working towards better health and martial arts.  She told everyone of her struggles and her support from her family and how this accomplishment was the result of believing in herself and hard work!  I could have been the one standing up there speaking.  Her story was similar to mine except that I just realized that I could do this! 

 So, I went for it!  I signed up and 6 weeks later, I graduated to the next belt!  I loved it even though I was scared to start, nervous each time I learned something new, and terrified when I had to stand up in front of every one and perform what I practiced.  It was exciting and terrifying all at once. 

 I know now that I can do this!  I can learn new moves, become stronger, and perform under pressure.  I love it!  It is empowering to know that I can keep up with higher belts!  I am strong, confident, and willing to learn and grow! 

 

 

 Here I am accepting my new yellow belt!  It was such a proud moment!  I am anxious to learn the new moves and work my way up the belts until I reach my goal... black belt!

 

Have you ever realized you wanted something you thought you couldn't do, but then realized you could?  It's amazing when you believe that you can do it! Go for it!!!

Behind the Art with Melissa

Hello everyone!

If you had the opportunity to move across the country (or world), would you do it?

What if you had nothing holding you where you currently are? With or without a spouse or children... everyone was mobile and on board.

Would you do it?

What if you were single. Pretty content. Maybe feeling a little restless.

Would you do it?

I did.

And now that I've been back home for the past 9 months, it's slowly sinking in how big of a deal it was that I did it.

I mean, I left a secure job. Sold half of my belongings. Uprooted my entire life and moved to a land I had only visited.

CRAY.

Be Bold. Be Brave. Be Me.

I found that sentiment on Pinterest and loved it immediately.  By being myself, 100%, the boldness and bravery come naturally. I find that as I become more confident who God created me to be... I can completely trust my gut when it tells me to move.

Be Bold.

Be Brave.

Be Me.

Now, get off of here and go do that something that's been tugging at your heart. 

BE BRAVE! BE YOU!

Behind the Art with Felecia

A few weeks ago, one of the articles trending on my Flipboard account was a very detailed set of instructions on when and how to wear ankle boots vs. when and how to wear knee high boots. 

I'll be honest, not being one of the fashion elite, I sort of needed this advice. So i opened it. But as I read it, the details of when and how all started to jumble together. I couldn't honestly see the difference between this pant and that pant or this hemline and that hemline...and in short, I ended up thinking - this article is for people who have so little security in their own clothing choices that they need a rule for everything. 

And that is where I had sort of an epiphany...

I've come a long way...

There was a time when I would have printed that article, posted it on the wall of my closet and followed it to the tiniest detail.

At some point, I started to ask myself - why isn't the style that I gravitate to enough? Why aren't my own choices about my own hair color or my own heel height or my own lunch or my own art enough.

And I began to approach my life differently.

I believe that raising kids has been part of my transformation, but also burn out and frustration over wanting to be a "designer" took its tool. I spent too much time hiding me and not enough time being the me I was created to be. 

Its taken a lifetime (so far) to learn to be ok with my own perspective, in my art, my home, my food, my writing...all of it. 

I frankly should have trusted long ago.

The design of this project was to focus perspective on "me" in the center. It made a perfect place to hilight "my" way of layering - which is to say, not overly layered and still simple in its approach - and my favorite technique thus far - mist splatters.

I honestly wish I could have come to some level of comfort in my own skin long before. I think in today's culture of social media and subtle shaming, its brave to live out loud, as it were. Its brave to make a choice NOT to follow the rules of fashion or art and just be....

Peace, ya'll!

Behind the Art with Jen

This month's kit word just speaks to me right now... BRAVE!  At different times in my life, I've felt invincible and other times I've felt vulnerable.  Bravery comes from pushing through the fear, uncertainty and failures.  It's only when you overcome something difficult that you become stronger.

 In my entire life, I never enjoyed working out.  I was actually scared that I would look stupid or fail at it.  I was afraid to try something that was hard.   Why did I start at 40 years old then?  Why is it less scary?  It's not, it was just that I wasn't so afraid anymore.  I decided it was time to try something new.  Something I thought I could never do. 

 Taking a chance is difficult... it might not work out.  Then, you might have wasted that energy and time.  However, if you don't try something that scares you, you might regret it later.  I think in this case, I wanted to see if I could do it.  So, I started running even though I'd never tried to run before.  I joined a training program that made it fun and less scary!  It was one of the best things I have done!

 I never thought I'd enjoy running and certainly didn't think of myself as a runner, but I do now!  It was scary but now I can't believe it's been a year since I started and I've stuck with it!  I actually like it!

 Do you run from the things that scare you or do you face them head on?  What have you overcome? Sometimes the things we think that we can't do, we can and we do them well!

Behind the Art with Felecia

Brave - what is brave?  What do we do that could be classified as brave and courageous.

To me, choosing to raise another human being is brave thing...small people...huge responsibility.

In all honestly, choosing NOT to raise another human being is just as brave, but for completely different reasons.

For my life, my husband and I chose to raise not just one, but two human beings. As luck or fate or blessings...or God's very wry sense of humor...would have it, they are both male.

If you have boy children in your life...or have ever been someplace where they are allowed to be themselves...you will note that it is a chaotic, energy-filled experience filled with baffling things like the love of bodily noises (mine seemed to be born thinking they were funny) and baseball hats.

My first project for the Brave Kit was to document this crazy beautiful choice and what it means to my life now.

I used two photos that are far from perfect, blurry and in motion, but well show my smiley little men. I also chose to distress the edges of all my pieces, cross the pieces in a somewhat haphazard way, scatter my embellishments across the layout (kind of the same way I find things scattered all over my floor!)

The final embellie I chose was the "you amaze me" button...partly because THEY amaze me and the experience of raising them amazes me.  But also because I amaze me...mothering them is the toughest job I have and the most rewarding. It carries with it my biggest challenges and more love than I ever imagined! Its hugely risky - more risk that I would normally take - and full to overflowing with joy and laughter.

For me, definitely a very BRAVE choice.

Behind the Art with Jen

Hi Friends!!  I have my first page of the Inside Out "Brave" kit to share! This page is all about being brave enough to do something that scares you!

 So many times, we avoid what is hard, what is scary and what is different.  It's easier to stay in our comfort zone.  No risk involved. No heartbreak, injury or rejection.  BUT if we live only in that comfortable zone, we don't grow and evolve.  We just stay stuck in one place.  Growth requires moving forward!

 It's hard to be brave.  It's really hard at times!  For so many years, I did the same weight loss roller coaster.  Down and then up and then down... it was always the same.  I never got to my goal and I felt bad mentally and physically.  I had to take the leap one day to try something I've always thought of as impossible for me!  Running... who knew that one person coming into a Weight Watcher meeting to talk about a 5K training program would click with me?  Who knew that I would have to courage to show up by myself and try this.  I didn't think I'd like it or even stick with it.

 Well, it's been almost a year and I've run 7 different 5k races!  I started small but I started and stuck with it!  I took a chance... all by myself!  It was not easy and there were a few days that I made excuses to not go but ultimately, it was a challenge and I did it!

 I actually enjoy running... okay, maybe not sprints or hills but i enjoy the peace and quiet, the alone time, the time to think about the day.

  I can't believe it's been a year. I wish I had started sooner.  I wish I'd had the courage and the confidence to believe that I COULD do it!  I always told myself that I couldn't run and that it wasn't for me, but I've changed.  I'm 40 now and that jump started my need to change and make a better me!

 I'm so proud that I stuck with this new path and that I had to guts to try something new and stick with it!  I'm coming up on my year "anniversary" of starting running  and I'm 40 lbs. lighter and have a whole new outlook on life!  I make exercise a priory and now I'm working on clean eating.  It's difficult but so worth it trying something new!  I've made a lot of new friends who feel this way throughout the process!

What have you wanted to try but haven't done yet because something is holding you back?  What have to done that required you to be brave?