Weekend Warmup - Trust Yourself and a Challenge

Do you trust yourself?

I've struggled with this concept for a long time.

I actually can't think of many poor choices that I've made. Even the ones that seemed like a miss at the time ended up being choices that led me to better future outcomes.

So why am I so hard on myself? Why are WE so hard on ourselves?

Oprah had this to say back in 2011.

And this.

And it begs the question, why don't we as women pay more attention to the still, small voice inside - our intuition, our gut?

I don't have the answer, but I do have a suggestion:

Find just one thing in 2013 that you feel really good about - and not something external. Think about just one choice you made that resulted in a great outcome. Maybe it was an easy choice for you; maybe it was a painful one. 

Take that choice and celebrate it - celebrate YOU and your ability to choose wisely and let it inform your heart that YOU can be trusted by the most important woman in your life - YOU.

You can create a super simple LO, art journal page, atc, canvas...whatever, about that ONE choice and how it will remind you to TRUST in you.

Want more support?

Buy our TRUST kit and you'll have everything you need to tell your story your way. Click the pic below to grab your kit featuring Dear Lizzy Polka Dot Party and Carta Bella Hello Again, tons of gorgeous wood veneer, Faber-Castell Gelatos and more:

And if you like musical reminders, check out this oldie and goodie from one of my early folk music heroines (don't let the album title scare you...this song is an ode to trusting the inner you...) 

Enjoy!

Weekend Warmup: Fit In or Stand Out

This month's kit, BELONGING, is one where the theme pulls at my heartstrings in a big way.

I like being different. I relish the chance to be weird, to be authentically and completely me.

Of course, that wasn't always the case.

Like most 13 year old girls, I was once a shy, anxious, awkward teen who was completely, hopelessly crushed out on a boy named Jeffrey Friedman who had no idea I was alive. I was skinny, had questionable skin and was definitely not part of the in-crowd. 

In high school, I even got a cake for my friend Janine for her sweet 16 and addressed it to her from 'the clique'. When asked by the assistant principal who drove me to pick up the cake (don't ask) if we were the 'in clique', I replied, 'we're the out clique'. I loved my friends in high school - and we really stuck by each other. But we were a group of girls who didn't fit the mold, even in a tiny school with 140 total students in all grades. We were immigrants or children of immigrants, explored NY on our own when our classmates were living insular lives in the suburbs, we were questioners in a system where questions were not the norm.

Time marched on, I found my voice, and discovered that in fact I always 'belonged' - I found kindred spirits that spoke to me at every stage. And it turns out those kindred spirits are all around - one of my closest friends now is a woman I met in the parking lot at Target while we were taking our kids out of our cars - she had a political bumper sticker on her stroller and I knew what she stood for. 

I found out that weird is COOL. I love that I have strange interests - Bollywood films, crafting, dog shows, entering recipe contests, rhyming, choral music. Because I always find kindred spirits. Whether it's my moms group, our SFTIO members, dog lovers in the street, I now appreciate the uniqueness that makes up ME, and I very rarely feel alone.

I get to live a big life, dig in, do what I love! 

I found out a few weeks ago that Jeffrey Friedman passed away suddenly earlier this year. Even after almost 30 years, it came as quite a shock. I spent a good deal of grade school and middle school wishing he knew I was alive. Now I just hope that his life, short as it was, was filled with the love and contentment that comes finding his kindred spirits.

I fit in by choosing my audience. And when I don't fit in, I embrace my differences - because they make my life fun, wacky, strange and beautiful.

How do you choose to fit in? I'd love to hear from you.

Weekend Warmup: Sneak Peek of our October Kit

I've always worried about fitting in. I grew up in an environment where it wasn't OK to be different...in fact it wasn't OK to even think about how you might be different from what you were expected to be. 

I come from a fearful past - where thoughts and feelings were taboo - as if God was in our heads, watching everything and judging us.

I'm pretty sure that every kid, tween and teen feels like that at some point in her life. Either because she's being bullied, just feels like an outsider because her hair is the 'wrong' color, or her body is the 'wrong' size...

If I had only had an outlet, some way of expressing what was going on in a safe way...oh, right, that's why I created SFTIO! 

I love that I get to express who I TRULY am, and that I get to (hopefully) inspire other women and girls to do the same. 

That whatever I think and feel is absolutely OK - it's better than OK, it's CRITICAL to understanding what makes me tick and what matters most.

Yeah, I do it for me...and for you...and for this guy:

The best way for me to teach him to be his authentic self is to NOT teach him. I need to SHOW him.

I'm showing him that he has the right to all his thoughts and feelings...that whatever his choices, his wishes, by his very existence in this world, he BELONGS.

Join us on October 1st for the BELONGING kit.

You belong. Just remember that.

Weekend Warmup: Is it the Question or the Answer?

Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers.

Rainer Maria Rilke

I've been wondering...is there a way for us to ask a question, maintain curiosity and explore without being focused on the answer? 

Human nature is such that we seem to want closure and certainty. I know that's accurate for me. In terms of personality type, I'm what the Myers-Briggs experts would call a true ENFJ.

Here's a description of this one of sixteen basic personality types defined by Myers and Briggs (click on the link above to read more about this):

Warm, empathetic, responsive, and responsible. Highly attuned to the emotions, needs, and motivations of others. Find potential in everyone, want to help others fulfill their potential. May act as catalysts for individual and group growth. Loyal, responsive to praise and criticism. Sociable, facilitate others in a group, and provide inspiring leadership.

The J in ENFJ stands for Judger - which isn't what it sounds like. I'm not someone who judges others (maybe myself, though!) but I am someone who prefers having things settled rather than up in the air (vs. perceivers who like to keep their options open . Even without all the data in, I'm inclined to make decisions quickly instead of waiting to have more to go on.

As a result I'm someone who might not have the patience to wait for the answers to my questions. Or perhaps I'm someone who wants to avoid the uncertainty of the open question. Either way, I'm sure I could benefit from a bit more of what Rilke suggests above. 

Live my questions - ask the universe about what I don't know (which is a lot) and then live my life, open to the answers, whatever they may be. And whenever they may come.

Sounds like a real challenge for someone who likes her ducks in a row. But I think it's a more authentic way to be given the reality of life. The answers don't always line up with the questions, they don't always show up when you need them, and sometimes they don't come at all.

To practice being less attached to the outcome of events, this might be just the ticket.

What do you think? I'd love to know.

Our CURIOSITY kit is a great tool for exploring some of these ideas. We have just 2 more for sale. Will one be yours? 

Wishing you a safe, happy and love-filled holiday weekend (for those of you in the US) and a sense of adventurous curiosity.

Weekend Welcome: Sneak Peek of our May Kit: CURIOSITY!

Webster's Composition and Color...Cosmo Cricket Sweet Disposition...camera and polaroid images, canning jars to capture your dreams, Tim Holtz distress paint, kraft bags, ruler twill trim, wood, canvas...so much goodness!  It's springtime in a kit with all your favorites!

Springtime with its celebrations of rebirth and renewal is the perfect season to explore what you're curious about - what do you want to know and what fascinates you most?

Don't miss it...remember, our April kit sold out.

Join us at Midnight Pacific on May 1st to grab yours. Supplies are limited!

Aren't you just a little bit curious? :)

Have a beautiful weekend...

Friends are my Greatest Fortune

Everyone who knows me well knows that I don't differentiate between family and friends. On the contrary, I believe that friends are the family we choose - and do choose of our own free will. I cherish the wonderful people who have come into my life throughout the years.

Although I work hard to cultivate relationships, I've made my share of mistakes. And there are times that people just aren't meant to be together. As we grow and change we don't always grow in the same direction.

Even when I've been the one to choose to separate from a friend, it's caused me great pain to know that our paths were diverging. 

I made a layout last year with our GRACE kit to explore my feelings about the loss of some valuable friendships over a long period of time...one in 2000, one in 2005 and one in 2008.

And another close friend chose to depart the scene soon after this LO was made...I wondered if I needed to add her to the page.

I like to think that the universe removes relationships that no longer serve us and brings back what we need when we need it.

In the last few months, I've been blessed to reconnect with two of the friends pictured above, and the one who almost made the add on...hearts opened on both sides, and, with time ever marching on, we remembered the value of deep and decades-long friendships. In the interim, marriages ended, some began, careers changed, children were conceived, pets were lost and adopted...and we had missed the opportunity to share our joy, our grief and our human experience with each other.

One of those children was born yesterday, and although the rebuilding of that friendship is still in its early stages, I'm feeling fortunate that I have the opportunity to really see whether our new lives are a fit and our paths are truly crossing for our benefit once more.

Because with that sweet new baby girl, with those beloved new spouses and cherished new companion animals, new family is born. Their families, my family, the family I choose to enrich my life.

So what's your greatest FORTUNE? Put it out there, open your heart, take responsibility for whatever part you've played in the separations you've experienced. Express it on a LO during your creative time this weekend, and maybe the good FORTUNE of loving friends will visit you too. 

I sure hope so!

Wishing you a weekend filled with love and creativity.

Is There Such a Thing as 'Luck'?

Happy Friday friends! It's been a busy week here by the beach at SFTIO HQ as we received (almost) the last of our shipments from Winter CHA orders. Our DT is about to begin work on the May and June kits and these kits are full of gorgeous paper lines and unique embellishments - I'm personally really excited to get my creative hands on them!

I hope you're loving the behind the scenes look shared this week on the blog into symbolism and design of the layouts and art journal spreads created by our DT with the April FORTUNE kit. I'm always amazed at how our designers are able to create their own interpretations of the symbols we include in the kits. There's always something new to discover.

Yesterday, Kai shared with us a cloud of synonyms and offered some thoughts on her favorites. One of the definitions that jumped right out at me is luck. As I get ready to post this month's challenges, I've been thinking...is there such a thing as luck, or is what we call luck actually the residue of hard work.

The use of the word 'luck' sounds to me to be an expression of things, good or bad, being somewhat out of our control or beyond our ability to make an impact.

Am I lucky if I get a great job, or did I work to create the circumstances that led me to it? If I find the love of my life, is it because I'm lucky, or because I put myself in situations where I was likely to encounter people with similar values?

And of course all of this begs a larger question - is what we call luck actually what comes our way by design from a higher power?

Random...impacted by my actions...or destined...

I don't know for sure. Maybe it's some of all three.

As I've grown and changed as a person, I've increased how much responsibility I want to take for my own circumstances. Generally, I don't want to believe that life is a series of random events...so I vacillate between seeing life as the direct outcome of my choices and it being a series of blessings and challenges - brought to me by whatever force binds us together.

I want to believe that there's a purpose and a meaning in all of what life brings me. There are just too many magical, connected and mysterious events in our lives for me to believe it's all a roll of the dice. And I want to have an impact on those events by making the choices that feel authentic to my soul.

So let the chips fall where they may...as long as they're my chips and they were given to me by a loving power that wants the best for me.

Enjoy the coming weekend and the FORTUNE kits that are zipping their way across the globe to your doorsteps. Our deep and meaningful challenges begin next week!

I look forward to welcoming you soon...

Weekend Warmup and an INNOCENCE Challenge

Hi friends! Hope you've scheduled some creative time this weekend...last Saturday I had the pleasure of spending the day with my pal (and Teen DT Coordinator) Sofia at the lovely Scrapbook Daisies.

We were having a belated celebration of Sofia's 17th birthday (which was all the way back in April.) We cropped our tushies off and had a really fun time.

I broke my personal 12 hour crop record by completing 5 pages (even with a run to Starbucks) and one of them is my take on this month's first challenge up on the SFTIO site message board.

Infancy: Do you have photos of yourself as a very new person – hospital photos, or ones taken when you first came home from the hospital? How does it feel to see yourself as an infant? Does the photo resemble you today, or does it seem like a different person? Looking at (or imagining) your infant self, what do you imagine was ahead? What do you think were your parents’ dreams for you, and did you fulfill them? Were you a clean slate or were there expectations already on you? Do you believe that you already had a destiny in you?

For the design twist, please use a number in your design in a prominent way.

Here's my LO. It was especially fun and interesting to create given that while visiting my parents in NY last month I was the recipient (at least until they're all scanned) of a huge number of photos of me from birth until I graduated from high school. As a new mom, I cherish these photos and can't wait to share them with Huxley. This one was among my favorites:

And it helped inspire this:

I love the thought of starting with a clean slate - that we are all born innocent and pure. It's been said that we are born with everything we need to survive already inside us. On tough days I wonder, do I really have everything I need for my journey? I hope so...

My beautiful son turned nine months old today. I see in him the innocence that I wish we could all hold on to. I wish I could shield him from every pain and from all suffering, but I know that's not a realistic goal. I hope I can imbue him with the confidence to keep getting up when life inevitably hands him challenges. When I look into those sweet eyes, I see his gentle soul. When I encounter his strong will (do I ever) I believe he has the spirit to persevere.

Do you have a baby picture of yourself to scrapbook? If you don't, how about scrapbooking what it feels like to not have a record of your first moments. You can still tell a great story about your beginnings and your destiny. Come share it at the link to the message board above.

Do I want you to dig deep? Guilty as charged...

Have a good one.

Weekend Warmup: Is New Better?

Our prompts for the COMMUNICATION kit are up on our Inspiration Page. Here's one of my faves, and it's really got me thinking:

Newfangled communication methods are all the rage – Facebook, Twitter, texting, the list could go on forever. Which methods do you use regularly and how do they impact your life? Has this kind of communication helped or hindered your relationships? What old-school method of communicating do you still employ, or miss most if you don’t?

I'm not someone who typically looks back at 'stuff' and misses it. I do miss people, places and memories, but I don't long for the 'good old days.' 

When it comes to communication, though, I think it's a toss-up.

Remember these?

I remember being tethered to the wall in the kitchen if I wanted to talk to my friends, swinging around in our plastic 1970's era swivel chairs surrounding our Formica table.

Then, my dreams came true. I got my own phone! It was still on the main line, so there was always the danger of being in the middle of a private conversation and being interrupted my my parents, or worse, my annoying little sister (sorry Budge!)

But I got to lounge on the bed and talk as late as I wanted to. My best friend and I used to stay up half the night talking and fall asleep on the phone! 

The best thing about an old fashioned phone call was that you weren't multitasking - most of the time you were totally invested in your conversation. You might have had a TV or radio on in the background, but you weren't getting another call (until call waiting, that is) or reading text messages, surfing the internet on a computer or your phone, or checking email.

The connection may have been over the miles, but it felt close. Remember saying to a relative a world away, "you sound like you're right next door!"?

I loved those late night phone calls with my friends, not only for the content, but because it evokes a time when I it was all about me - I had lots of rights and very few responsibilities. I loved talking about my feelings, dreaming about the future and wondering what would be.

The good news? There's nothing better to me today than (as a verb) scrapbooking from the inside out to think about my life, dream about my future and wonder...what's next?

And with the amazing photos I can take now by pulling my phone out of my pocket, not to mention Instagram, Photoshop, Popbooth and all the other apps out there, I can now use my phone to call a friend and reconnect, but also to capture my life and what matters most to me. And keep it forever.

 

 

Have a great weekend, and come join us online for our first challenge using the prompt above. 

Also, don't miss our DT layouts on the subject of new tech and how it impacts connection in my piece on the Creating Keepsakes Blog. You could win the COMMUNICATION kit!