I've been a headache sufferer for years...over 20.
I've always thought that they were my fault - the product of mis-managed stress, too little exercise, bad food. I was diagnosed years ago with severe stress headache...and I owned that diagnosis.
But I made a promise to my husband this year to see a neurologist about my headaches...and she informed me that they were migraine. For some reason, this diagnosis was like a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.
And in a world where much of my time is spent serving others - admittedly to very stressful levels - I felt like I finally didn't have to carve out more time (stress!) to figure out it all out (stress!) and schedule more things into my busy schedule to deal with it (stress!)
The blessing is mixed...it has meant a whole new set of medications that I've had to get used to and keeping daily track of where I'm at health wise...plus they are not all the way gone.
I was on the way "down" from a headache when I finished this project. It wasn't hard to make it look like I felt...
Like I was surviving. Like things were very bright, but dark. Like some words seemed like YELLING and that my focus was off a bit.
I wanted very badly to give hi-light to the words of HOPE, the words that I feel like I speak out of my mouth all the time about migraines. You see, when you can't even see straight from the pain of a headache all you want is survival...You want to get THROUGH and move on without pain. THRIVING isn't even an option in this condition.
It seemed right that this thing that currently consumes me in the area of my health should be something I can put into a project. Its negative and painful and the polar opposite of thriving.
Ultimately, this will be something that I learn to manage, that I learn to prevent, that I conquer. Its an awesome feeling to have hope that at some point this will be a part of my past and will no longer stand in the way of my life.