Biopsy. The word alone is enough to scare the most stalwart soul.
Some people are afraid of the pain of the anesthetic injection, whether it might hurt during the procedure, but I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in thinking the scariest part is the waiting.
There's a lot of waiting. Waiting rooms filled with worried looking friends and partners trying to look nonplussed as they surf the Internet on their iPhones, inner waiting areas with anonymously gown-clad women of all ages, pretending to read a magazine as they clutch the key to the locker which holds the clothes that connect them back to the outside world.
And then there's the waiting that happens in between the procedure you've been dreading and the phone call you fear. There's just no knowing what that call will bring. Finally the phone rings and you hold your breath...can you hear the answer in the doctor's tone of voice before he says one of two words...BENIGN or CANCER?
Even though you've tried your best to be upbeat, to believe that you ARE radiant health, to manifest your a** off, you just don't know. Lack of family history, youth, healthy living...none is enough to guarantee the negative pathology result that will make you feel positive about your life again.
I was blessed today with the good fortune of a benign diagnosis...and although I am sore and tired, I am indeed a lucky, lucky girl tonight.
Now the real trick...how to make this feeling last, to hold and cherish the fortune I feel right now.
So many of us have become accustomed to looking for what's wrong. I'm going to make it my business, at least for this weekend, to be grateful for my good fortune.
And to send love and healing to those ladies I met this week who weren't as fortunate as I was when the phone call came.
Peace and love this weekend...hope you find something wonderful for which to thank your lucky stars.