Behind the Scenes with Jen Matott

Hi everyone!

We have design team member, Jen Matott, sharing some more depth and "Behind the Scenes" info about one her layouts using the INNOCENCE kit. 

What prompted you to pick this take on Innocence ?

I initially thought to do a page on the opposite of Innocence.  Guilt or taking away of one's innocence seemed like a bigger challenge.  I wanted to share this difficult time in my life from back in college.  I know I wanted a moody and darker page versus the light and airy colors that are found in the other papers and embellishments.

Why did you choose this photo?I took this photo a few years back to show emotion and was planning on using it for this topic someday.  I haven't documented the feelings that I had from being raped in college though I carry them with me always.  It's a hard topic to portray.  It brings up anger, fear and feelings that I haven't explored in many years.

How do you feel about the message of your layout?
It's hard to look at this photo and not feel a bit of sadness or grief in the topic.  I was a young girl who trusted too much and didn't know that someone could take advantage of you that way.  I was vulnerable and I wanted this page to show that with the textures, drips, colors, and arrangement.

What symbolism did you pull into your design?Oh... LOTS of symbolism here.  The drips symbolize the hurt, tears, and vulnerability I felt.  I used blues, silvers, browns, and blacks here.  I wanted it to be dark but interesting.  It is a piece of me now.. the texture paste through a vinyl placemat that I got at the MOMA museum shop gives a feeling of rawness and animal to it.  I used the glitter in the wet paste and added lots of spray inks to add color. The flowers were colored blue and also add to the feeling of this page.
The way the photo shows me with my hands on my head in despair symbolizes how I felt after the event.  I was confused, scared, devastated and mostly mad.  I had to work through those emotions and go through a year of self hatred to get to the other side.  Therapy, family and friends helped me to be who I am now!

Tell us a little bit about how you feel now that you have "let it all out" on this page.
It was hard to do but afterwards, I felt a bit more liberated from that moment.  I look at this page and feel such pride that I got past the aftermath of rape and now have a loving family, kids, and a career where I can help others.  This is my favorite page this month and even though it's message is difficult, it is one of courage and an insight into my downfalls as well as my successes.

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I am so glad that Jen shared this layout with us and was so willing to share her story. It is the perfect example of how we can use scrapbooking and use it as a form of self-expression, art therapy and visual journaling. It is not easy to share our stories that include pain. It's our hope, at Scrapbooking from the Inside Out, that you find freedom to express yourself and your story by using these kits. 

Come join us on the forum for some wonderful community!