Sorry for the dearth in posting...I injured my back last week, and it's all I can do to keep just the basics of life and business going. In a strange way though, this injury has made me think a lot about this month's theme, NOSTALGIA.
In Feb 2000, I had a similar back problem which escalated to excruciating pain for a month, a nine day hospital stay, a nerve root block, epidural and surgery for a herniated disc. I still think of that time in my life with dread...so this current episode has had a PTSD spin to it. Every morning, I wake up hoping and praying that I'll feel much better. When that doesn't magically occur, I panic for a little while that it's heading in the old direction.
After 12 days in various states of pain and some relief, the only thing I now know for sure is that the past has many faces...sometimes we think about 'the good old days' and sometimes we think back with fear. And sometimes, we don't remember the power that the past holds until it comes back and bites us.
The only real opportunity we have to reframe the past is by facing it during these moments of adversity. So although it's not easy, I am practicing slowing my breathing in moments of fear, to remind my body that I'm not in any danger...I'm practicing imagining the best possible outcome instead of the worst...I'm practicing loosening my grip instead of focusing on 'trying and trying' to create healing.
So how's it going? Some hours, pretty well. Some hours, not. But that's the thing about practice. I don't need to be perfect. I just have to do it in this moment, and then the next, and then the next.
What frightening memories of the past still haunt you? Is there something you do, just one moment at a time, to take the wind out of those scary images? I'd love to know, so we can grow together.