Behind the Art with Felecia

I've been a headache sufferer for years...over 20.

I've always thought that they were my fault - the product of mis-managed stress, too little exercise, bad food. I was diagnosed years ago with severe stress headache...and I owned that diagnosis. 

But I made a promise to my husband this year to see a neurologist about my headaches...and she informed me that they were migraine. For some reason, this diagnosis was like a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.

And in a world where much of my time is spent serving others - admittedly to very stressful levels - I felt like I finally didn't have to carve out more time (stress!) to figure out it all out (stress!) and schedule more things into my busy schedule to deal with it (stress!)

The blessing is mixed...it has meant a whole new set of medications that I've had to get used to and keeping daily track of where I'm at health wise...plus they are not all the way gone.

I was on the way "down" from a headache when I finished this project. It wasn't hard to make it look like I felt... 

Like I was surviving. Like things were very bright, but dark. Like some words seemed like YELLING and that my focus was off a bit.

I wanted very badly to give hi-light to the words of HOPE, the words that I feel like I speak out of my mouth all the time about migraines. You see, when you can't even see straight from the pain of a headache all you want is survival...You want to get THROUGH and move on without pain. THRIVING isn't even an option in this condition.

It seemed right that this thing that currently consumes me in the area of my health should be something I can put into a project. Its negative and painful and the polar opposite of thriving.

Ultimately, this will be something that I learn to manage, that I learn to prevent, that I conquer. Its an awesome feeling to have hope that at some point this will be a part of my past and will no longer stand in the way of my life. 

Peace, ya'll!

Behind the Art with Felecia

The more I worked through the ideas and concepts that came up with the word THRIVE, the more I had to ask myself if I really was, outside of my kids, really thriving. 

I decided NOT. 

Not to say that I don't have an amazing life - because I DO. Just that I seem to be running from task to task, checking things off the To Do list, existing rather than growing, learning changing.

I realize that change comes at a different pace for adults, but I still feel strongly that my life should perhaps have more of an impact and be less about the schedule and rules. 

Lots of circles on this one...It seems right, contained...like my day to day life really is. I wanted to investigate where my boundaries are, whether or not they are fuzzy, or hard, or too confining. Its sort of exciting to think about...

I wanted to make clear that I have a GOOD LIFE...by world standards, an EXCEPTIONAL life, but that the idea of THRIVING requires me to give more attention to what I'm doing, that I need to take myself off of autopilot. 

In retrospect, I know that we have seasons...this is something I had to keep in mind as I explored THRIVING. It may be that I"m in a season of rest...or that I've been complacent with my excellent life...or...that I simply needed somebody to get me to think about his word to begin again...

Peace, ya'll!